Mirroring Body Language Secrets Finally Revealed!
The body language technique known as mirroring is also known as physical mirroring. You may not know what it is but actually, you've probably been doing it all your life without knowing it. Once you know how to harness the secret power of mirroring, its like young Skywalker recognizing and harnessing the power of the Force!
Notice how people that seem to be engaged in an interesting conversation - they are excited about what they themselves are saying, they are about to say and what the other is saying, in other words, they have rapport - seem to take the same poses, whether sitting or standing up.
When sitting, either touching side by side or on opposites sides of the table - one leans forward and then the other leans forward as well, or one leans backward and then the other leans backward as well. They might cross their hands in the same manner, tilt their heads similarly, seem to be having similar side-activities (one playing with his key chain, the other with her pen), etc etc.
Are they directing their actions consciously? Probably Not. All their energies and concentration is on the discussion, everything else happens subconsciously. But actually, they don't even have to be having a discussion, they may just both be thinking their own thoughts… and still you can see mirroring going on - they make the same movements almost the same time without seemingly without having any perceivable interaction with the other person.
What is all this knowledge good for? Well, mirroring body language secrets can be used as a tool for building rapport. Being similar or having someone similar in your vicinity creates a feeling of ease, comfort, being understood, protected (should there appear a threat of any sort, there's two of you now), etc.
So you can use the power of mirroring to create these feelings in the one you are mirroring. They'll then subconsciously link all those feelings to you (after all, you are the one actively mirroring) and rapport is naturally going to develop between you. How, whom and from where should you mirror body language? Whom - that's easy, the person you want of course! How to do it is by assuming the same posture, doing the same movements with your hands, in all respects using your body in a similar fashion to theirs.
More Aspects of Mirroring Body Language Secrets Are:
- Following: Doing the movements after they did them. Note that although your mind screams, "This is stupid! I'm going to get caught! This person MUST see me doing the same movements! This is ridiculous!” Don't' listen to it, fight it, it is the voice of the Dark Side! Why? Because they NEVER NOTICE it! Instead, they feel more comfortable and relaxed in connection with you, and eventually (that's why you even bothered, right?) - more drawn to you.
- Pacing: Doing the movements the same time with them. Yes. Sounds impossible? Well it isn't. Have you ever noticed how you sometimes happened to do the same things at exactly the same time with another person? Maybe yawn and then have a laugh about it? Because you thought it was accidental? Well it wasn't, you had reached the second stage of mirroring. (Yawning is not a good example though; the last thing you want is the person you are attracted to yawning with you). There's nothing magical or supernatural about doing the movements at the same time, because essentially the second phase is a stage of transition between the first and the third. In mirroring body language, there's always a leader and a follower. So far, they have been leading you (because you've been following) but now you are coming to the stage when YOU will be leading! And the inevitable stage between following and leading is pacing - you are doing movements simultaneously.
- Leading: If you've done your secret body language mirroring right, have followed and paced, then you are ready for a revelation. You can lead! Try it. Cough. they cough. Scratch your elbow. Well maybe they'll scratch their shoulder instead of the elbow. In addition to being a tool of building rapport, you can lead them into doing some pretty fun stuff. Do a movement with your hands mimicking the parting of legs. This should be associated with something you are talking about, if it looks strange, they'll notice it and you don't want their conscious attention on your movements, keep their mind busy with what you're talking about. Watch their legs part, have fun!
Another more advanced aspect, although controversial as to the effectiveness of it, is mirroring the blinking their eyes and their breathing. Being able to mirror the breathing and blinking will create an even deeper rapport. But be careful to not be over zealous in this effort because in concentrating to hard on the breathing and blinking you might miss a beat in the conversation. Just try to let it come natural.
As to from where to mirror body language, the most common situation is when you're talking to them. But you can also try mirroring from a distance, say in a classroom, meeting, night-club or cafeteria, just make sure they have a chance to subconsciously detect you mirroring them, in other words, they must be able to see you.
A technique of creating instant rapport is by "faking" body language. When someone is interested in a discussion, they tilt their head slightly. When you know someone is interested, you could do the same to "simulate" you deep interest in what they say. And it works!
When they’re blathering on about something like: "And you know, my dog just got a new collar and it fits wonderfully with the living room furniture; the shade of green is just the same as the kid's bedroom carpet and that's great because... blah blah blah" - usually you would be using a few words they said (dog, collar, etc) and using the same adjectives (wonderful, great, etc) and ask something making them continue. But when you tilt your head slightly and do the same thing, it's quickly becomes obvious that the impact is much stronger.
Here’s a quote on mirroring body language secrets from Maxim Magazine (www.maximmag.com): “I love it when a guy sort of mirrors my physical behavior, like when I’m sitting across from him and I lean in to say something, I like him to lean in. If I’m talking really fast, and he can keep up with me, it makes me feel like we’re in the same place. If I’m being a little frenetic and he’s slow and relaxed and laid-back, I feel really close to him.
—Carlie, 30, Salt Lake City”
Mirroring body language is the best secret behind the secret to making a great connection with people.
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